Fulltime girl-next-door and purveyor of fine writing. Enjoys looking at (but not eating) cupcakes, Weekend Update, and vicious rhetoric. AnneMarieRhoades [at] gmail [dot] comTumblr (3.0; @annemarierhoades)http://www.annemarierhoades.com/<p><div>Dear Mr. Buble,</div> <div></div> <div>Dude—can I call you dude? I’d like to imagine you’re the kind of guy who can drink a beer with the best of them, so dude seems fitting in the best possible way—we need to talk.</div> <div> </div> <div><br/> </div> <div>You do a lot of great things. You look great. You sing great. You were making middle-aged women swoon with your greatness long before sparkly vampires came along. You have Facial Expressions that can only be accurately appreciated with capitalization. You are the most charming Man’s Man this side of George Clooney’s ER glory days.</div> <div> </div> <div><br/> </div> <div>In short, Michael, you’ve got a lot of things going for you. So it’s with regret that I say—your rendition of “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbbFpzly3eo">Santa Baby</a>”? It was, hands down, the <em>least</em> great, <em>most </em>uncomfortable Christmas song since “Christmas Shoes.” (Spoiler alert: the mom dies in the end. Need more information? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq10bz3PxyY&feature=player_embedded">Ask Patton Oswalt</a>, I hate to say.) You can’t tell Santa that you’ll put out if he does. It’s not your fault that Jerry Sandusky’s carousel of just-horsing-around-with-young-boys is in the news at the same time your trying-very-hard-to-not-be-homoerotic serenade to Santa hits the airwaves. But no matter the season, telling Santa you’ve been a sweetie all year makes you sound less like the world’s second most Charming Canadian (<a href="http://fuckyeahryangosling.tumblr.com/">Ryan Gosling, obviously, is first</a>, [and <a href="http://ryangoslingvspuppy.tumblr.com/">here</a> and <a href="http://hellogiggles.com/dear-ryan-gosling">here</a>, not to rub it in] but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.) and more like a runner up in the local Ho-Ho-Holidays drag queen competition.</div> <div><br/> </div> <div> </div> <div>You do a lot of great things. Changing the lyrics to the only seductive Christmas carol is not one of them. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vjt8LJdRtWA">Literally everything else you do is</a>. Play to your strengths, dude.</div> <div><br/> </div> <div> </div> <div>Sincerely,</div> <div>Anne Marie</div> <div></div> <div>P.s., Seriously. Let’s get a beer.</div></p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/14220937262http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/14220937262Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:57:00 -0500<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvwtpmGpR11qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>As proven by Seester, Poehler’s response is one of the most versatile sentences in the English language.</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13942545871http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13942545871Thu, 08 Dec 2011 19:08:10 -0500<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvuse2NBwO1qznz2go1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>A visualization of my reaction to so many Things.</p> <p>(Modified from <a href="http://www.harkavagrant.com">Hark! A Vagrant</a> - h/t to The Professor for the recommendation)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13887630306http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13887630306Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:44:00 -0500<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvnucdgANb1qznz2go3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvnucdgANb1qznz2go2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvnucdgANb1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p>“Oh, Pooh! You messed up my moose!”</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13710951916http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13710951916Sat, 03 Dec 2011 22:43:25 -0500Happynow?<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvggo6w0Oi1qbqpzjo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://samschilling.tumblr.com/post/13532038331/so-i-take-these-mushrooms-right-pan-fry-them-in">samschilling</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>So I take these mushrooms, right? Pan fry them in butter then stuff them IN the fish and cook THAT in butter.</p> </blockquote> <p>I’m torn. This looking delicious and repulsive at the same time. (Also, buttery.)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13532284443http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13532284443Tue, 29 Nov 2011 23:10:46 -0500“SIR – Thanks for the story nine years ago on the benefits of office clutter (“In praise of clutter”, December 21st 2002). I located the article this week in a pile of important material set aside for review. The system has worked perfectly, as you said it would.”<br/><br/> - <em>A letter from Australia. (via <a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theeconomist.tumblr.com/">theeconomist</a>)</em>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13455352386http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13455352386Mon, 28 Nov 2011 10:42:47 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv3dnmnEdR1qzl1pho1_400.gif"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sslyby.tumblr.com/post/13215922847/phil-shreds-gif">sslyby</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Phil shreds (GIF by <a href="http://roganknowsbest.tumblr.com/"><a href="http://roganknowsbest.tumblr.com/">http://roganknowsbest.tumblr.com/</a></a>). Visit his new web site for all your design and printing needs: <a href="http://roganhowitt.wordpress.com/"><a href="http://roganhowitt.wordpress.com/">http://roganhowitt.wordpress.com/</a></a></p> </blockquote> <p>Who <em>wouldn’t</em> reblog Phil? In related news, he was remarkably more sedate when I ran into him at Gailey’s a couple weeks ago, though this comes as a surprise to no one.</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13424687511http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13424687511Sun, 27 Nov 2011 18:33:22 -0500<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv6dc7xbXG1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Turkey Trot 2011: Me, Liv, and 8,000 of our friends. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13258176163http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/13258176163Thu, 24 Nov 2011 12:16:55 -0500<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luw2g0HCmd1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Philadelphia: Aventinus at Tria. Sixteen ounces of awesome. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">Instagram</a> at Tria)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12996674753http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12996674753Fri, 18 Nov 2011 22:45:36 -0500<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luw1tnxRwG1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Philadelphia: Frank is out-drinking me and smug about it. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">Instagram</a> at Tria)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12996130436http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12996130436Fri, 18 Nov 2011 22:32:10 -0500<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luw1dajo701qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Philadelphia: Anthropologie at Rittenhouse Square. Frank is asleep in a chair somewhere. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12995725791http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12995725791Fri, 18 Nov 2011 22:22:22 -0500<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luvk1juscb1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Philadelphia: Frank & Art Museum (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12979162132http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12979162132Fri, 18 Nov 2011 16:08:06 -0500<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luvjt3bQ431qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Philadelphia: skyline from the art museum steps (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12978952641http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12978952641Fri, 18 Nov 2011 16:03:03 -0500<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luv256nzs01qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Philadelphia! (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12967976758http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12967976758Fri, 18 Nov 2011 09:41:29 -0500<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luk422vvnZ1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>#BFFBrunch with @kjjones: pumpkin pecan waffles, oh my! (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">Instagram</a> at Gailey’s Breakfast Cafe)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12692632466http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/12692632466Sat, 12 Nov 2011 11:49:14 -0500bffbrunch<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltjctwLNaf1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Salmon Eggs Benedict by the incomparable chefs (Bill, Joel) at Farmer’s Gastropub. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">Instagram</a> at Farmer’s Gastropub)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/11832576903http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/11832576903Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:27:32 -0400<a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2011/09/23/140745725/facebooks-latest-great-leap-forward-part-of-a-proud-corporate-tradition">Facebook's Latest Great Leap Forward Part Of A Proud Corporate Tradition : All Tech Considered</a>: <p><a href="http://npr.tumblr.com/post/10563916529" class="tumblr_blog">npr</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>The Facebook changes (and resulting frustration) prompted a discussion around NPR.org editor <strong>Nicole Werbeck’s</strong> desk at work about what other companies have forced unwanted changes on the public. What happens when companies make changes that consumers don’t want, didn’t ask for and want things changed back?</p> <p>Read what she had to say: <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2011/09/23/140745725/facebooks-latest-great-leap-forward-part-of-a-proud-corporate-tradition">Facebook’s Latest Great Leap Forward Part Of A Proud Corporate Tradition</a><a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2011/09/23/140745725/facebooks-latest-great-leap-forward-part-of-a-proud-corporate-tradition"><br/></a></p></blockquote>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10650870915http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10650870915Sun, 25 Sep 2011 14:19:54 -0400facebooknetflixthe gapcoca-colatropicana<embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://assets.tumblr.com/swf/audio_player_black.swf?audio_file=http://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/10417977101/tumblr_lrr348gzXH1qbgdqp&color=FFFFFF" height="27" width="207" quality="best" wmode="opaque"></embed><br/><br/><p><a href="http://copycats.tumblr.com/post/10407334219" class="tumblr_blog">copycats</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><strong>“Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want” by pacificUV </strong></p> <p><strong> </strong><em> Originally by The Smiths</em></p> <blockquote></blockquote> <p><em>(free download) </em><a href="http://pacificuv.bandcamp.com/album/chrysalis">pacificUV - Chrysalis (via Bandcamp)</a></p></blockquote> <p>Things I will always reblog: pictures of Jesus shooting a laser gun while riding a dinosaur; Pope-related humor; this song.</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10417977101http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10417977101Mon, 19 Sep 2011 18:35:10 -0400the smithspacificuvcoversbandcamppost punkshoegazemorrisseyjohnny marr<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrs28sJMGF1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Sure, I hate children (and bunnies, unicorns and happiness) but new baby cousins are kinda sweet. (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10405034995http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10405034995Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:10:03 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrqsu6A5KV1qznz2go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>The official bookmark of the Best Friend Book Club (Taken with <a href="http://instagr.am">instagram</a>)</p>http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10381830005http://www.annemarierhoades.com/post/10381830005Sun, 18 Sep 2011 19:49:18 -0400