Ordered words of advice
I’m a sucker for lists. Voicemails from me are almost always in ordered format and, more often than not, include pointless or unrelated lists. I will surf from list to list on sites like The Frisky, bouncing from “10 Reasons Being A Brunette is Better” (I’m not one, but who cares?) to “20 Unsexiest Beautiful People” to “9 Things To Know Before You Move In Together”.
There is a double-edged sword in these countdowns to information you really didn’t need: lists that place importance upon things you shouldn’t be worried about. I’ve spent an hour looking at “7 Signs He’s A Jerk”, “20 Lies He’s Telling You, and 10 He Thinks You’re Telling Him”, “Top 5 Dating Red Flags” and similar Doom & Gloom lists designed to create drama where there is none. I begin to see things where they aren’t the case. I imagine pitfalls where it’s even ground, I fear flaws that aren’t hurting anything.
I spend a specific amount of time, as all girls do, glancing at Cosmo covers, reading lists on the internet, and secretly taking the occasional Facebook quiz I’d never admit to, let alone publish. This is the natural draw of drama—even “no drama” girls, like Katherine, love the adrenaline rush of a crush and the nervous, sick thrill of uncertainty.
The list that matters is:
- A relationship is not written by Cosmo, the bloggers at The Frisky, or a teenager writing a Facebook application
- I will continue reading Cosmo’s lists and Lemondrop’s advice columns
- I will not let those affect me or my relationships
- I will find a less anal retentive term than “relationship”
- I will encourage those around me to stop this damaging behavior.
- Also, should they have a better term, they should let me know.
